all worth it

Lately I've been having some stressful times with Warren trying to put him to sleep. Ok, so not really a ton, but I've had a couple instances in this same last week, where I felt like I wanted to scream into a pillow to let my frustration out, but then one little "tender mercy" (there really is no better way to put it) makes it all go away.

INSTANCE numero uno: We were up at the Ellsworth reunion going on our second night. The first night wasn't too successful with complete sleep, but I did get him to at least go down before 10:30. Nevermind the fact that he was standing up every 2 hours in his pack n play to rub his hand all over my face until I pulled him out to sleep with me on my very tiny bed. (We were in an open cabin with 3 other families, so I didn't want him to cry and wake everyone else's babies up.)
-The 2nd night was a different story. Most of the Ellsworth gang went to the Manti Pageant, me and another cousin thought this would be the perfect night to get our kids to sleep at a decent hour (8:30). I began his nighttime stuff and then set him in his pack n play when he was almost asleep. Well, I set him down and he immediately starts crying. I usually just let him cry it out and he konks out after 5 min. So I sat outside on the steps for about fifteen minutes. He wasn't stopping, not even backing down. I went back in and picked him and sang his favorite bunny song and got him drowsy again, put him back down, went outside. Same thing, he was crying bloody murder. Poor kids who were in there too trying to fall asleep. (Their mom told me to just let him cry it out and her kids would be fine ;) So don't think I'm THAT horrible ) Anyways, long story short this kept going on, but I needed to take a shower before they turned the lights out. By now it was 9:50 and they turn the lights out at 10:00. I told Seth I was gonna let him cry and for him to check on him in about 10. I go take a shower, get back 20 minutes later and walk in.. Poor Seth was just sitting on the bed, Warren was rolling around SCREAMING. I pick him up and just take him outside and decided I'll try to walk him to sleep. So it's about 10:30 now and he's bright eyed and awake. I try to go back in and lay him next to me but he just wiggles and flips and won't go to sleep so about 11:00 PM I go back outside again to walk him around. Finally about 40 minutes later I get him to fall alseep on my shoulder...

BUT it was at that last minute that I was about to go crazy. I was tired from lack of sleep and all his crazy screaming made me even crazier, but as I was walking around outside in the middle of nature, I looked up and could see millions of stars. (I LOVE the stars and don't get to enjoy them much where I live) I couldn't help but cry and be thankful for the beauty that I was able to enjoy and that God gave it to us to enjoy. I LOVE being out in nature. It's so calm and serene. At that moment I was happy that I was able to be outside that late and enjoy the stars in complete silence holding my little boy.

INSTANCE numero dos: Warren usually takes naps pretty easily. Sometimes not so much. Today he was having a little breakdown as I was trying to put a comforter in a duvet because I wouldn't let him roll all up in it. But as I was singing him his new fav bunny song to calm him down, he lifted his head off my shoulder and gave me the cutest little kiss and put his head right back down. It's amazing how little things like that make you forget how flustered you may have felt and totally changes your outlook on life at that moment.

Warren is definitely teaching me daily. And most of my "ah-hah, life's not so bad, tender mercy moments" come from him. 

So does that mean with 2 kids I'll get a double dose of that?! Well I hope so because baby #2 is on it's way :)

this was his landing from his jump, hence the hands in that position :)