lydi's birth part 1 (my thoughts)

(This is longer that I thought it was going to be, so I'm going to write it in two posts)

Part 1. 

I just realized I never wrote down my thoughts/version of Lydia's birth story and she's almost 4 months old!!!! yeesh.

I was so excited for Christmas morning. Warren was finally old enough to realize what was actually going on. We had to wake him up because our church started at 9. He was so excited and I was loving watching it.

I didn't feel any different that morning, just the same ole very pregnant feeling, I was still 2 1/2 weeks away from my due date. After we had a little Christmas morning fun we hurried up and got ready for church. As most Sunday mornings, I forgot to grab some snacks for the little man. Everyone else was out in the car waiting for me. (Seth, Warren, my Dad) My mom was already there practicing for the musical number. I was waddling around upstairs trying to grab a few extra things for Warren when I all the sudden just "wet my pants". I stopped and thought, "you've got to be kidding me, I did not just pee my pants right before church, or did my water just break?, Nah, can't be my water." My water broke with Warren and it just kept coming and coming and coming. This did not just keep coming. I ran to the bathroom, yada yada and ran out to jump in with the fam. I looked over at Seth and whispered to him, "I just peed my pants". He looked at me like I was crazy and we drove on to church. We got all situated and right after the opening song I told Seth I had to go the bathroom again really bad, so I got up and went.

I sat back down and was distracted for the rest of sacrament meeting. I couldn't get the thought out of my mind of questioning if that really was my water that broke or if little miss was just putting so much pressure on my bladder that out it came! I wish I could have payed attention to the program but I honestly was searching on google for all things that had to do with "water breaking". Seeing how Warrens birth was, I would be lying if I wasn't a lot nervous that the same situation might could happen if we didn't get to the hospital fast enough after my water had actually broke. I never told anybody, but deep down I was really scared we were going to lose this baby at birth, but then again I just knew we weren't.

Sacrament ended and as we got home I did a little more research. A lot of websites said to lay down for half an hour and if your water did break it would pool up and then when you stood up, you would know that it had. I tried that. No poolage. No water. Bummer. I was excited for the mere fact of being DONE being pregnant. I was NOT mentally prepared yet to have another baby. I was also not ready with all the "before baby comes" checklist. I still needed my 2 1/2 weeks. We went throughout the day doing all the Christmas festivities. We opened presents with the fam, had a nice dinner and then got it all cleaned up. Meanwhile I peed my pants twice more. I was really kind of getting annoyed at this. I was getting close to the end of my clean "underwear" supply :) And I don't ever have problems with bladder control, even when I have to go REAALLLY bad.

By the time 6:00 PM rolled around, I was kind of freaking out inside. "What if my water really did break... you only have 24 hrs before infections and stuff can start to happen..." and so on and so on....It had already been 9 hrs since the first wetting myself incident.

 My lower back had started to hurt a little with a dull pain, I finally convinced Seth he needed to call the doc just to see. My doctor was out of town and it was Christmas, so Seth called a lady in our ward that was the head nurse at the office I go to. Then we finally got a hold of someone else. They said their protocol was to check any signs of labor out after 20 weeks just to be safe, so into the hospital we headed. I said some weak goodbyes and gave warren a hug and kiss and told them we'd probably just be back in 20 minutes, we're just going to get things checked out.

We get to the hospital and the nurse asks us what's up and I just say, "I think my water broke, but not sure". Awesome, haha. She kind of gave me a giggle so I felt like I needed to explain myself. I told her how my water had broke before with my first and how I peed my pants 3 times during the day, blah balh...so she checks me in and I put on the cute little hospital robes and lay on the bed.

A nurse came in and asked all the same questions again and so she says she'll take the initial PH test to see if I had ruptured. She checked me and I was maybe a finger tip, then she took the test and it didn't look promising because it didn't start to change right away. She says sometimes it takes up to ten minutes so she left us in the room. Right before she came back into the room, I felt it. There was the flowing of waters that I remembered feeling with Warren. I was excited but not ready all at the same time and it was Christmas, I didn't want her to have a Christmas birthday! (Now I think it's pretty cool, she may not for a few decades though) 

Once we knew it had broke for sure she asked us what our plan was. I told her I had had an emergency C-section with my first but I was wanting to try a V-BAC. (Vaginal Birth After Cesarian)((Ive been asked a few times what that means, so that's why I added :))) She didn't really say anything just kind of made the, "well that probably is not going to happen" look. I didn't catch it, but Seth did. I was set on the VBAC and that's what I wanted. No one was going to stop me. I wanted SOOO bad to have that experience. I was set on it. Ya, call me crazy but I wanted the experience of pushing and helping bring my child into this world and then being able to hold her right after she was born and have that first moment with her, and oh I could go on and on....

They called my Doctor but he was out of town with his family for Christmas and so they called the Doc on call. He got there in about ten minutes. Immediately when he came into the room and said hi, I felt comfortable with him. It was the coolest thing. We started chatting about our plan, he listened and then got down to business with us. In a nutshell he first started of in a round about way, saying how dangerous it might be to try a VBAC since it had already been almost 12 hrs since my water initially broke and since I was not even at a 1, and since I hadn't dilated with Warren, my chances of laboring on my own and being at a 10 in another 12 hrs was not very promising.

I started to get really mad and frustrated inside, not at him, just at the fact that I may not be able to do a VBAC. I was holding it back and just listening and nodding my head. He then told me he was giving me advice as if he was talking to his sister about what the safest thing for me and baby would be. That's where I lost it, I couldn't hold the tears and hurt back anymore. I started sobbing. All I could think was that I would never ever have the chance to deliver any of my children "normally". After 2 c-sections, they won't even think once about a VBAC. I would never be able to experience what I so deeply wanted to experience. I wasn't prepared for that. My whole pregnancy I was planning on a VBAC and in 5 minutes I had to just let that dream go. Part of me wanted to be stubborn and just try and see, but I knew it wouldn't be safe for Lydia.

The Doctor was so caring and understanding. He whipped my tears off my face with the sleeve of my cute gown, haha. He promised he would take care of me and then asked if we needed time to discuss and bawling I told him we didn't need time because I knew a c-section is what needed to be done.

After I let out all the tears, I started to get excited, we were going to have a baby! And on Christmas!

on the health train

Seth has always been the healthy eater in this household. Well, when I make healthy things that is. Our whole marriage he has dropped hints, and not so much hints, that we need to eat healthy. I'll admit, I just brushed it off every time. I LIKE MY SWEETS!!! I like my fried foods (corn dogs, scones, etc.) I got my sweet tooth from my dad. He loves him some sweets too :)

Within this last month, I had a switch turn in me that I all the sudden had this desire to eat more whole foods. It was pretty crazy, but here I am now learning the ins and outs of eating more whole foods. Don't get me wrong, I still love my chocolate and the occasional corn dog and In n Out burger and fries and.... :D But our dinners and most lunches these last two weeks have been A LOT healthier than I have always made. I guess it kind of helps also that little girl is still sensitive to dairy so I've been drinking a lot of almond milk and using that in cooking, etc.

I've definitely felt a difference in how my body feels and how much more random energy I have. (meaning, I still only get 3 straight hr stretches at night and when I wake up I am SOO tired but as I go throughout the day, I dont ever really desire to nap and can keep up with Warren :) )

I've been trying a lot of different recipes but I want to know if any of you have any favorite recipes or whole food blogs/sites?? I'm still looking for favorites, I've def found some good ones, but I"m on the the hunt for more!! Spill your secrets!

sleep....i need it, and your thoughts

Little one is STILL waking up every 3 hrs at night. If I'm lucky she'll give me five straight. But not every night and not very often. She's 12 weeks and it's no secret she can stand to go 8 hrs at night without food. She's a CHUNK! Which I love, but I'm not loving my 3 hr stretches at night. I've read a few different books about sleep training, but I want to know YOUR thoughts and ideas. I'm still trying to find what will work for us, but I need more ideas to go from. so PLEASE share :)

little miss

I feel like I never have time to blog anymore. I need to be better! Even if it's just one picture:) But here's little Lydi at 10 weeks. I feel like she's a lot older than that because she's already 13lbs! Twice her birth weight. She grew out of the newborn stage really fast with her chubs coming on. She's such a content little lady. We're hoping her dark hair stays and that she gets warrens curls, but we'll see. She's such a little love bug and I love kissing on her chubby cheeks. She's starting to smile more at our crazy huge smiley faces and high pitched voices to her. haha. Warren loves her and calls her Lydi, or baby girdle. (girl) it's so funny, i love that that's how it sounds to him. People always ask me if it's a lot different having a girl and so far the only difference has been that I can put pink on her :) She still sleeps a lot and I'm sure I can say it's more different when her little personality starts to shine more. I'm just lucky to be a mother to both my adorable bebes.

"pancakes please"

Warren LOVES him some pancakes. He asks for them almost every morning. And every evening :) I've been lacking in the "picture taking of our daily lives area" so I whipped out the camera a few mornings ago while he downed em complete with bed head.

I usually make homemade ones, because the recipe is sooo yummy but this particular morning I was tired like no other and he was persistent in wanting them NOW. So I just did the "just add water" ones. Well, I added too much water and was out of the mix so it made it harder for Warren to pick them up with his fork, so he used his hands :)

  
With a side of apple juice

This is his, "are you serious momma, you want me to smile? just get me down please" look

warrens ER visit

I finally downloaded all the pics from my phone and can now catch up on posts that I've been needing to do!

Dec. 1st, Warren had his first ER trip. I'm pretty sure it was more of a traumatic experience for me than it was for him. That day I was shooting a wedding and my mom was in town and she was helping out with Warren. In between my break from shooting the wedding and reception, I was home and making dinner and hurrying around to get things together so that I could make it to the reception early. I was cooking dinner upstairs so Warren was up there with me and my mom. I ran downstairs to get some spices I needed and called for Seth to go upstairs and help my mom with Warren because he was starting to get a little crazy. Right as I said that, we heard a big crash and Warren screaming instantly. I was pretty sure he had fallen off one of the dining room chairs, I sent Seth running up there. I then followed shortly and all I saw when I walked into the kitchen was blood drips EVERYWHERE and when I looked at Warren all I saw was blood on his forehead. I thought he had cut his head open. I think I went into shock, I didn't know what to do, so I did what moms do best, I cried. haha. Seth was suprisingly calm and he's the one that gets queezy with blood. He took care of Warren and bandaged it up while I stood there running around with my head cut off and crying.

What had really happened was Warren fell backwards on the dining room chair, but he was standing up facing backwards with his fingers over the top of the chair and when he tipped, the chair smashed the top of his finger so hard that it pretty much squeezed it open and chopped off the top fat. 

I was freaking out. He needed to be taken to the ER and I needed to leave right at that moment to the reception. I was a little hysterical I think. Warren's a little mommas boy and I felt horrible leaving him when I think he might have needed me the most. My mom told me she would go with Seth to go to the ER. So they left and I left. I cried the whole way to the reception. Luckily I was shooting the wedding for one of my besties little sisters and I knew their family well. I called to say I would be a few minutes late. BUT lucky me, I ran out of gas on the way there, I wasn't even paying attention. I ended up making it there and all went well. Seth said things went okay with Warren except for the fact that he was screaming when they had to tie him down and numb his finger. They stitched the top of his finger back together and then bandaged it up. He was on some pretty good painkiller and Seth said he just fell asleep in his arms that night. It hurt my heart so bad to see him in so much pain. I think I felt pain for him for the next three days. I hate to see him hurt.

The top finger picture is 2 days after it happened. The bottom finger picture is 2 weeks after it happened and when he got his stitches out. The other two are pictures the morning after it happened with his huge bandage they put on. Poor little guy. I hope things like this don't happen that often in this little guys life!

The doggie they gave him at the hospital and then sitting on the culprit chair with my mom.

birth story

She's here! 2 1/2 weeks early. I'll take that every pregnancy:) I sure wasn't ready though for it on Christmas Day. I've got lots more posts that are needing to be published BUT my hubs finished writing Lydia's birth story and I couldn't wait to share it! It's a lot more fun to read that anything I would ever write :)

Lydia's Birth Story